I Hate You
by Laura's court
Summary: A shameless semi-serious self insert crackfic: "When you wake up in Orochimaru's lair in the body of your least favorite character (in my case anyway), Sasuke Uchiha… Oh! You just know it's going to be a bad day." Updates every Monday! (Not a NaruSasu!)
1. Chapter 1

When you wake up in Orochimaru's lair in the body of your least favorite character (in my case anyway), Sasuke Uchiha… Oh! You just _know_ it's going to be a bad day.

However, before I get into all the juicy details, and some of these details will make your head spin, let me introduce myself. My name is Allison, Ali for short. I used to live in Los Angeles, CA working part time at a local family owned retail store and full time as a student at Clark Magnet High School (Go Panthers!). I come from a family of five, and I am currently single, not that it matters.

The biggest thing about me is that I'm a huge fan of Japanese anime and manga. My current favorite is _Naruto_, but it changes every now and again. I guess it depends on my mood and where any one of my favorites are in their story lines. Anyway, I was really into _Naruto_ around this time. I wasn't one of those fans who go out and try to live it, but I did read the weekly chapters, watched the anime every once in awhile and maybe read a fanfic or two for the fun of it. I enjoyed it, and so did most of my friends.

So that's pretty all you really need to know about me. I'm fairly normal (I think), and I try to do the right thing every once in awhile. I'm not really sure if God (or whatever it is you believe in: fate, multiple gods, the Force, etc.) was trying to punk me or if I had done something really horrible to deserve this.

To the guy I cut off last week on the freeway, I am really, _really_ sorry.

Anyway, it was supposed to be a normal Tuesday morning. I get up a little early on Tuesday's to go pick up my friend from her morning bible study at her church. She calls it "seminary." I call it "cemetery" because I'm sure everyone there save for her is dead asleep. I have to pick her up cause her dad has to go to work a little earlier on Tuesdays. So, I was already supposed to wake up fairly early.

...but not at fucking three in the morning!

Now, I'm a pretty heavy sleeper, and you kind of have to be when you live in California, the Golden State of the Earthquakes. We get tremors I would say about every six months or so. Little ones, nothing big enough to cause a real ruckus. Anyway, so whoever it was trying to wake me up had tried shaking me first.

Like _that _was going to work!

"Come on mom… five more minutes!" I moaned only half aware that someone was trying to get me up. The response I got was not what I was expecting, especially from my mother, if the pain in my cheek was any indication. My mom would never hit me, no matter how much she wanted to.

"Ow—!" My mouth was covered before I could start screaming a long list obscenities at the top of my lungs at the person who had just slapped me awake.

She looked _awfully_ familiar.

My eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as I stared straight at a what I initially thought was a reflection of myself looking slightly peeved. Of course, if that really was my reflection, it would have looked just as surprised as me and not covering my mouth with its hand.

At that moment, I realized my voice had been significantly lower than it usually is when I had shouted.

"Don't scream," my dopplegänger said to me. "You'll wake up the wrong people."

I stared at myself as she slowly removed her hand from my mouth, my jaw hanging open in disbelief. "Who are you?" I asked, my voice nice masculine tenor. So _not _my voice!

"I should be asking you the same question," she replied, with _my _voice I might add. "That's my body you're in."

"Your body?" I asked indignantly, even though I was beginning to question if she was right since my voice was not my own. "Are you loony toons? How can I be in your body? And even if I am, then what are you doing in my body?!"

"Fine then," she conceded agitatedly. "There's a bathroom right over there. Go see for yourself, and don't scream, or I'll have to knock you out."

I rolled my eyes as I got out of bed and stepped over to the bathroom. Not before taking a good look around, first, of course. It was incredibly clean, that much I could tell, so I knew we weren't in my room. I would have stepped on my shoes or clothes by now. It was too dark to see much anything else so I had to feel for the door knob.

I found it and stepped into the bathroom before turning on the light to look in the mirror.

Well, she… er… he… didn't have to worry about me screaming. I passed out before I could do that.

* * *

I woke up to the person in my body trying to nudge me back into consciousness. It was kind of awkward waking up to seeing myself clearly agitated and trying to help me wake up. I finally pushed her (or rather, "him" since I had a good idea of just who was in my body) away and stood back up to get a second glance in the bathroom mirror.

Black eyes and hair with facial features that were slightly effeminate, but that only made him look that much more handsome. His body was something to admire, no doubt about that, but I didn't really consider it because I was to concerned with the implication behind the fact that Sasuke Uchiha was staring right back at me from behind the glass of a mirror!

Sasuke…

I began to giggle uncontrollably as I stared at the reflection. It sounded absolutely maniacal which only made me laugh harder. It was perfect really, because I knew how much of a psycho he would turn into later. I put my hand over my mouth to keep myself from getting too loud (or is it his hand over his mouth?) as I dropped to the floor again.

"What's so funny?" I heard my original voice ask me. I could barely breathe anymore I was laughing so hard.

"This is…" I gasped, trying to get a hold of myself, "just like… pff… hahaha… heheheh… like a really bad… fanfic…"

"What are you talking about?"

"My name…" I said, ignoring that question and answering the question he (she?) had been wondering earlier, "is Allison Crenshaw!"

I tried to keep my laughter to a minimum. This was hysterical. Sure, going to the bathroom and showering were going to be a problem, but I'm the kind of person who lives in the here and now. So none of that really didn't occur to me. I thought of all the fun things I could do while I was Sasuke Uchiha. Hit on Sakura, kiss Naruto (that one would be for all the yaoi fangirls back in my world), maybe pretend to be a playboy. If only I had seen Road to Ninja before all this.

Obviously, he didn't feel the same way about this as I did. "We need to find a way to switch back."

"No shit, sherlock!" I hissed, fury overcoming my initial reaction. Now that I knew he was a real character (and that tidbit of information still had yet to process through my brain completely), my hatred for him grew three times. "How long did it take for you to figure that one out?"

He glared at me, but since it was coming from my face, it didn't come off as well as he probably would have liked. "You can glare at me all you like, Mr. Sasuke Uchiha," I said. "You are not affecting me any."

He sighed. I probably looked like an insane person at this point. _Good! _"How do you know who I am?" he asked.

"That's not important," I replied. "I gave you my name, and that's all you need to know, really. You could act however you want and everyone will think that's how I am." I grimaced. "If you could be so kind as to not portray me as a self absorbed brat utterly obsessed with revenge and hatred, though, I'd appreciate it. I, on the other hand, have to act exactly like that! Do you know how horrible that is? To be you?"

Again, he glared at me for the insult. He does that a lot. "Seems to me you _think _you know a lot about me," he growled. Although from my voice, it sounded more like a purr.

"Oh yeah, I know you!" I said almost indignant that he would think otherwise. "Sasuke Uchiha: Birthday, July 23; Parents, Fugaku and Mikoto Uchiha (deceased); Siblings, one brother, Itachi Uchiha; Shinobi Team, 7 (also known as Team Kakashi) with Jounin leader Kakashi Hatake, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sakura Haruno; blood type, AB; Current shinobi status, rogue; Village assosiation, Konohagakure. I could go on if you'd like me to."

He looked at me with wide disbelieving eyes. _My eyes,_ I noted with some irritation. This would be my only and last time to show off how much I know about him. Of course, I wasn't sure if that was necessarily a bragging point, but still.

"How do you know so much about me?" he asked.

"Let's just say that you're pretty popular where I'm from," I said, trying to dismiss it. "Any ideas on how to switch ourselves back?"

"You're from Konoha?" he asked skeptically. I guess I could understand why he thought that. It was the only place that you could get any of that information. Of course, you had to be a ninja to get some of that.

Could someone tell me how to explain to a fictional character how is just that, a fictional character?

I let out an exasperated sigh. "No, I'm not from Konoha, and honestly, I could tell you where I'm from, but you've never heard of it, and you'd never believe me. So could we move past that now?"

"Fine," he replied. "No, I don't know anyone who might be able to switch us back."

"What about the Yamanaka family?" I asked. "They specialize in this kind of thing right?"

"I'm not going back to Konoha," he said determinedly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said dismissively. "I know, you wanna keep your status as a rogue ninja because you're a brat who has absolutely no common sense. I get it. Look, you want to get revenge on Itachi, right?" I prayed that the gods who were punking me right now that I had at least that right.

"Yes," he answered. His eyes, my eyes, lighting up with hatred. It was infuriating to see that on _my_ face, so I did what came naturally. I hit him.

_Wow, I just put a whole new meaning in the "why are you hitting yourself?" joke._

"Don't you look like that while thinking about revenge!" I snapped. "You make me look like a crazed lunatic! Any who, revenge on Itachi. If you really want it, you gotta be willing to make some sacrifices, which means you have to go back to Konoha. Trust me when I tell you this. You will never _ever _get your revenge on Itachi while you are in my body. You could train for the next fifty years. I don't care. It's not happening. So, either we go to Konoha and try, or go somewhere else and see if we can at least adjust to our new bodies before we go looking for someone to help us."

"Easier said then done," muttered Sasuke. "This is just one of Orochimaru's lairs, and he's not about to let 'me' go out on my own, especially if you don't have his permission. Even if you get it, chances are he or Kabuto will try to accompany you, me, us..."

_Oh man! Even he's getting confused!_

Orochimaru's lair? So that guy was still around and without his arms no doubt. I decided to probe a little to see how far along in the story we were. It was odd to think that I was quite literally in the middle of a freaking story. Sasuke was one of the main characters (who was supposed to be, you know, _not real_) after all. "Have you seen Naruto and Sakura since you left Konoha?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied. "It was just a few days ago actually."

"All right then," I said. "Obviously we can't tell Orochimaru about this. He'll take this as his opportunity to take your body, and I'm sure you don't want to stay a girl for the rest of your miserable life. Especially a girl who is not an Uchiha. So, do you have anyone in mind who _might_ be able to help us?"

He was silent for a moment. It occurred to me how weird it sounded to call him a "he" when "he" was in my body, a _girl's _body. "We're _not_ going to Konoha." He finally said.

"I'm not _staying_ in Orochimaru's lair in _your_ body," I replied angrily. "The guy creeps me out on so many levels it's not funny. Konoha's the only safe place I can think of for both of us, so that's where I'm going."

"Do you even know how to get out of here?"

"No, but that's beside the point," I said, waving it away. "I could probably find my way out if I tried. If I run into anyone, I'll just pretend I really am you and that I'm just going to get some fresh air. How hard could it be to play a stoic jackass?"

"Do you know how to use chakra?" he asked ignoring my jab at his lackluster personality.

I hesitated. "Uh, well, um, no, but that's in part because…" I clenched my teeth and fists, not wanting to say it.

"Because what?"

"Because…" I said dragging out the word before heaving a sigh. "Because where I'm from, the existence of chakra is debatable at best, let alone if it can be used." I finally stated irritably.

"Where are you from?" he asked. "I've never heard of a place like that."

"It's another dimension entirely, so how are we going to get out of here?"

"You're from another dimension?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah," I said matter-of-factly. "I mean look at the pajamas you're wearing! Are those common place among females of this world?"

He looked at my green pajama bottoms with four leaf clovers and my dark green "kiss me, I'm Irish" t-shirt. "I wouldn't know," he said when he looked back up at me. "I'm not usually a female. Besides, what is Irish?"

"Nevermind," I said. "We've got to get out of here. I'm not about to face Orochimaru just because you don't want to go back to Konoha."

He closed his eyes for a moment. Probably trying to find fault with my idea, but he wouldn't find it. I had no idea how to use chakra. While his body was physically fit and all, I didn't know how to fight to begin with so the point was moot. Plus, neither of us were entirely familiar with our new bodies.

"Fine," he admitted reluctantly. "We'll go to Konoha. Only because I need my body back."

"Sounds good to me," I replied. I looked down at myself (Sasuke's body) and realized that I was only wearing boxers and some bandages where Sasuke had seals written. "Let me get dressed and…" The outfit he would have me wear crossed my mind. "Oh _hell _no!"

"What?"

"I'm not wearing those gay ass clothes you have," I said. "I'm a girl and I refuse to wear anything like that! Give me Naruto's orange jumpsuit first."

He rolled his eyes at me. "That's too bad because that's all I have. Now, unless you want to go out into the middle of the snowstorm and freeze to death, you'll put on my clothes. I'll have to put on something similar."

"Crap."

"What now?" he asked in exasperation.

"I don't think I was wearing a bra before all this."

"No, you weren't."

"Do you have any bandages or something?" I asked. "Maybe we could bind them up."

He looked thoughtful for a moment. "I might have something," he said after a moment. "Let me look. Closet is over there."

I nodded and stepped over to said closet before opening it. He actually had different clothes than what I had seen him wear during the Retrieval arc of the manga. Probably because it was snowing where we were. It was still fashioned after Orochimaru's strange design with a big purple rope belt with a giant bow in the back

As I got dressed, I took a moment to sort of admire the muscle tone of his arms and legs. As much as disliked him as a person (fictional character!), I had to admit he was good looking. It made me sick to admit it, but I wasn't about lying to myself. Not about this anyway.

I was surprised at how easy everything was to put on. I even found Sasuke's sword and put it in place and everything. Once everything was set, Sasuke (in my body) came back out of the bathroom with a roll of bandages to use for breast bindings.

"I don't feel like scarring myself for rest of my life so I'll let you fix it up," he said handing it to me and closing his eyes.

I ignored the insult. It was only fair since I called him a jackass earlier. I helped him take off my shirt, and I began to wrap the bindings on the top half of my body. It was kind of weird to be dressing myself while I wasn't even in my own body. I noticed my skin (not his body's skin, my skin, confused yet?) was getting goose bumps everywhere I touched.

"Are my… er, your hands cold?" I asked.

"No," he said with a frown.

"Then why are you getting goosebumps?"

"How should I know?! This isn't my body!" he snapped.

"All right, sheesh," I replied in annoyance. "This is kind of awkward, isn't it?"

After I finished, he speedily got dressed in some of his other clothes that were slightly different from the ones I was wearing. Only because someone would find it odd that we were wearing the same clothes.

"What are the chances we run into someone on our way out?" I asked.

"Slim," he said.

"Well, I think we should come up with an excuse just in case."

"I thought the excuse was you're going to get some fresh air."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't explain why you're with me… why I'm with you… Ah! This is so confusing!"

"Try not to think about it too much," he said as he handed me a black cloak while putting his own on. He gestured for me to be quiet as he opened the bedroom door. He looked to see if anyone was coming, and then motioned for me to follow.

Yep, it was going to be a very bad day.

* * *

**Okay, so I've had this story twirling around in my head forever, and I finally decided to type it up and upload it. This is more humor based than it is romantic, so the romantic bits will be small and mostly played for laughs.**

**This is rated T, but let me know if you think I should up the rating.**

**Reviews (even flames) are love!**


	2. Chapter 2

"How do you find your way around this place?" I asked in irritation. Sasuke ignored me as we snuck between the shadows of the stone corridors lit only by small candles.

I figured the only reason I was able to see anything was because of Sasuke's amazing eyesight even without the Sharingan, so it baffled me a little that he was able to see so well considering my poor eyesight. Perhaps it wasn't so much that he could see, but that he had been through these hallways enough times that he knew how to get through without getting lost.

He suddenly stopped before pushing me back into the last shadow we just passed through. I opened my mouth to say something when I saw a light moving just around the corner of the next hallway. My mouth went dry, and I prayed to whatever gods existed in this universe that it wasn't Orochimaru.

Well… I got my wish…

"What are you doing up Sasuke?" asked Kabuto just after he came round the corner.

I think I forgot to breathe for a moment. Kabuto raised an eyebrow at me as I stared at him with wide eyes, probably wondering why I was staring at him in a very un-Sasuke like manner. The real Sasuke nudged my side, and I sprung into the role I was supposed to play.

"Couldn't sleep," I said simply, trying to look somewhat irritated that he asked in the first place.

Kabuto gave me a strange look. "Don't tell me you're losing sleep over what happened between you and Naruto."

I scoffed. "Why would I lose sleep over that?"

Kabuto seemed to accept that as he gazed over at the real Sasuke who was trapped in my body. It took me a moment to realize that Kabuto had never seen me (meaning my body) before. This was what I had been referring to when we left Sasuke's room.

_I told you! You idiot!_

"Who are you?" Kabuto asked. "I've never seen you before."

I stepped in front of Sasuke almost protectively as I got in Kabuto's face. "She's new."

"What is she doing with you?"

I nearly fell flat on my face when I heard Sasuke's response. Never in a million years would I have thought he was capable of even _thinking_ about such things! My mind couldn't handle it!

"Even Sasuke-kun has personal needs," he said in my voice as coyly as he could make it. He batted my body's eyelids sweetly as he stepped up beside me, pressing my body into his body's side. I tried not to look completely stupefied. What in the world was he implying?!

I knew, but I didn't want to believe it.

Even more unbelievable than that, Kabuto bought it! What the hell?! "Is that true Sasuke?" he snickered. "I didn't think you had it in you."

_You and me both!_

I let out a dismissive breath much like the real Sasuke would have and grabbed his hand, marching away as though Kabuto had hit a nerve. Of course, now that I thought about it, he kind of did. I heard him laughing once we turned the corner. I silently thanked Itachi for kicking that guy's ass. He deserved it.

Of course, it hadn't happened yet, but I would be sure to tell him thanks when it did.

"Don't you do that again!" I nearly shouted as soon as we were out of Kabuto's hearing range. I dropped his hand as I spun to face him. "You made me look like some kind of whore back there!" I shivered involuntarily as I thought about it. I'd sooner make out with Jiraiya then even think about doing _that_ with _Sasuke Uchiha_.

Okay, so maybe that was a lie. There isn't a heterosexual teenaged girl (including myself, unfortunately), who has read or watched the series _Naruto,_ that hasn't thought to herself 'if that Uchiha boy were real…' I'm sure you could guess the rest of that train of thought. However, I always thought the kid was an arrogant jerk. Didn't like him at the start of the series, and I still don't like him now. Stuck up arrogant jerk faces like him needed a good punch in the nose from Karma the Bitch.

…which brought me back to my predicament here. Was this Karma's way of kicking Mister McBroody Pants in the backside, or did I do something horribly wrong to deserve this as well?

"It was the only thing I could think of on the spot," he hissed furiously, snapping me out of my thoughts, "and keep your voice down. He's not the only one up at this hour."

"Whatever," I replied. "Let's get out of here. This place gives me the creeps. How could you stay in a place like this for so long?"

"I never noticed," he said as he began leading the way again.

"Of course," I said flippantly. "How stupid of me! I forgot that you are the 'revenge is the only thing that matters anymore because I'm a loser' guy. Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's not all it's cracked up to be?"

"Shut up," he whispered.

I had a totally awesome comeback for that one. "You shut up!"

We continued on with Sasuke taking the lead again. We were fortunate enough not to run into any more of Orochimaru's henchmen or Orochimaru himself. We made it safely out of the "Labyrinth of Evil" only to immediately be bombarded by the second worst thing to ever happen to me.

Now, there's a reason my family and I live in the sunny state of California. We hate snow. We dislike the cold, but we definitely hate the snow. It was one of the few reasons our relatives came down to see us instead of the other way around. So, anyway, as someone who can't stand any weather under 50 degrees, I was pretty upset when I found that we were near the top of a mountain in the middle of a blizzard when we finally got out of the cave that is the lair of Orochimaru. I opened my mouth to scream in frustration.

"Don't scream," said Sasuke. "You'll start an avalanche."

"Start an avalanche that'll kill us both, how is that a bad thing?" I asked with a sneer.

He readily ignored me as he started down the mountain and I followed. We got about twenty yards away when I noticed that Sasuke, in my body, was shivering uncontrollably. I guess Sasuke's body was more or less impervious to the cold (or my cloak was thicker) because I was relatively warm.

"You all right?" I asked, more worried about what was happening to my body than any concern I might have had for Sasuke's suffering. I didn't give a damn about that.

"I'll be fine," he muttered. "Let's just keep going. There's a village at the bottom of the valley. We can take shelter there."

I thought about it a moment. Sasuke's body was pretty strong, and even if I couldn't use chakra (because I didn't know how), I could probably run down the mountain with him on my back.

"Maybe I could carry you down?" I suggested. He looked at me like that was the last thing he wanted to do. "Well, for one it would be faster. Unless you think your body can't handle it."

He rolled his eyes. "No," he scoffed. "You're right, just try not to trip or something on our way down."

"I'm not _that_ much of a klutz," I protested as I helped him onto my back. I began to carefully work my way down on the invisible path with Sasuke giving me directions. Do you know how hard it is to climb down the face of a mountain while trying not to slip on any ice or snow while you can barely see through the flurry of snowflakes?

"How much farther is it?" I asked after about an hour of climbing.

"What?"

"The village?"

"Oh, it's not far," he said. "At this speed we should be there in another hour or so."

_Another hour? _I thought furiously as I reached for another ledge. _Golly! How tall is this blasted mountain._

"It would be a whole lot faster if you could use chakra," muttered Sasuke.

"Oh! My God! I am so _sorry_ I wasn't born into a dimension where magic energies existed!" I spat.

"It's not magic energies," he said. "It's chakra."

"I know what it's called!" I shouted just before he covered my mouth.

"Be quiet!" he hissed in my ear. I ripped his hand from my mouth.

"You know, I could drop you right now," I said.

"Go ahead," he replied. "Then you'll be stuck in my body for the rest of your life."

I glared at him, but he was right. I wasn't about to let him fall off, let alone drop him since he was my only key to ever getting home. Wherever that was. I tried not to think about the fact that I might not ever get to go home, but it was inevitable. There was a chance, even if I did get my body back, that I would be stuck here in the Naruto world, and while that wasn't too horrible, there were a few things I didn't want to be around for. Pein's invasion of Konoha and the Fourth Great Shinobi War were just a couple of examples that crossed my mind.

Of course, now that I was getting Sasuke to return to Konoha a little ahead of schedule, things were beginning to change. For one, his little "get revenge on Itachi" operation was going to have to wait, and I was totally ruining Obito's whats-it-called plan. That thought made me grin to myself, earning me some weird looks from Sasuke.

And what about Naruto? The whole of his development revolved around getting Sasuke to come back to the village. Was I ruining that by bringing Sasuke back? Probably, but I wasn't about to stay stuck in Sasuke's body just for him.

Love the guy to death as a character, but my life was on the line right now.

I glanced back at Sasuke who was paying more attention to what I was doing than I was, but it wasn't him I was thinking about. I was trying to decide on whether or not we should tell the rest of Team 7 about our little predicament when we arrived in Konoha. It would explain why I wouldn't be able to go on missions with them, but that would make things so awkward.

The point was moot, though. I seriously doubted Sasuke would want the others to know about this whole situation.

I was kind of curious about how Naruto would react to seeing us. No doubt he and Sakura would be happy to Sasuke, but that didn't mean that happiness would be what they would display. Naruto would probably be furious that after his two attempts to get him back Sasuke just waltzes in unexpectedly.

_With my luck, he'll sound like a petulant wife whose husband just came home after leaving her for three years. Wouldn't that be hilarious?_

"So if you're not from this dimension, how do you know so much about me?"

I suddenly lost my footing and began to slide down towards a nearby cliff face. Sasuke and I barely managed to stop us from slipping right off the edge.

I let out a sigh of relief before looking back at him. "What?"

"You said back there that you knew me, if you really are from another dimension, how is that possible?"

"You wouldn't believe me even if I told you," I replied as I got back up and teetered on the edge of the cliff before moving away from it. I stepped over to my left, hoping to find a way down that wasn't a ninety degree angle.

"Try me."

I let out a exasperated sigh. "In my dimension, you are a fictional character made up by a guy who lives very far away from me. His name is Masashi Kishimoto, and the story you exist in is called _Naruto,_ and yes, your teammate, Naruto, is the main protagonist of the story."

"You're right," he said. "I don't believe you."

"Well, that's your problem, isn't it!" I spat in frustration. "Fact is, we are still stuck in each other's bodies, and the only clan I can think of that could help us is the Yamanaka clan in Konoha."

"How can I trust you if I think you're crazy?"

"Well, I don't trust you, you back-stabbing bastard, so we're even."

He fell silent after that as did I. The ground slowly began to even out so I could get down more easily. Trees had also begun to spring up, and they slowly became denser as we headed farther down.

After another hour or so I finally caught a light not too far ahead. The excitement of getting out of this cold weather gave me wings, and before I knew it, we were standing at the edge of the village. It was a fairly small village with a market, a bar, and an inn along with a few other necessities. This town was just picture perfect for a Christmas card.

"You can put me down now," Sasuke muttered. I happily acquiesced and promptly dropped him. "Ouch!"

"Whoops!" I said. He glared at me, but didn't say anything as he stood up.

"Do you think we could stay here awhile?" I asked.

"For a short while," he replied. "At least until the storm wears out a little."

"Sounds good," I said with a stretch. "There's an inn right over there. Let's go."

"Hold on," said Sasuke putting a hand on my arm. "You do know that I'm a missing nin, right?"

"I know that!" I exclaimed, feeling my face grow warm. Sasuke let out a weary sigh.

"I thought you said you knew this world," he said accusingly. "You don't know where we are, do you?"

_Inside a christmas card. _"No, I don't know _exactly_ where we are, but I have an idea," I replied.

"We're not in the Rice Field Country, if that's what you're thinking," he deadpanned.

"Then… Where are we?"

"You know about how Naruto and the others found Orochimaru's hideout?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, for obvious reasons, we couldn't stay there," he explained. "We had to relocate. We're now in the Land of Frost, just south of the border to the Land of Lightning."

There was a pregnant pause before it sunk in.

"Pardon?"

Sasuke let out a growl of frustration. "Don't tell me you don't know where that is!"

"Uh… is it… north of the Land of Fire?"

"Yes," he sighed. "It's north. The Land of Frost is the only country that borders the Land of Lightning, and Kumo and Konoha share a lot of information between each other due to the treaty several years ago."

"So a lot of Konoha ninjas come through here?"

"Yes, most of them stop here to rest, and chances are, most of them know what I look like," said Sasuke.

I threw the hood of my cloak over my head. "So try to look inconspicuous. Got it."

"Right," he replied as he did the same.

"Should we use the transformation jutsu?" I asked.

"Let's just go," he groaned.

"All right, fine, sheesh."

We walked on in, taking care to be quiet so as not to disturb the other guests. It was fairly large for a village of this size. It was old and worn, but you could tell that the owners did their best to keep it intact. The wooden craftsmanship made it feel warm and cozy even though there was no immediate fire place.

A loud jolly laugh caught my attention. "Welcome! How may I help you?" said a large older man. His dark hair had streaks of white and grey in it. He had a big friendly grin on his face as he welcomed us in. Next to him was his wife who had a placid look on her face. She was much smaller than him and had a more gloomy look about her.

_What is it with the Japanese and opposites? _I swallowed nervously. How would Sasuke act in this situation?

"We're just here until the storm let's up," I said, trying to sound as apathetic as possible. It sounded good to me.

"All right!" he laughed. Sasuke pulled out some money and gave it to him as he handed us a key. "Enjoy your stay! And try not to wake up the other guests you two love birds!"

I turned to yell back at him, but Sasuke pulled me away before I could, dragging me down the hall.

Why would he think we were a couple?

Oh…

I snatched my arm out of his hand. "Why couldn't we have gotten two separate rooms?"

"Cause I don't have enough money for two rooms," replied Sasuke.

"But—"

"Let them think what they will," he said. "It's a good cover for us. Kabuto already thinks thats what we're doing. If anyone comes down here looking for us, that's what the owner will tell them, and that'll throw them off our scent for awhile."

He had a point, but it still made me mad. To make matters worse, it was probably sometime between five and six in the morning. Small wonder what they thought we were doing coming to an inn at this hour.

Once we were in our room, I gladly took a seat on the bed, happy to be off my feet for awhile even though I wasn't really sore from the climb down. Contrary to what I wanted to believe, Sasuke was very strong even without the use of chakra.

"So, where are we going from here?" I asked as he sat down on a chair in the corner after locking the door.

"We'll stay a couple hours, and we'll leave out the window," he said. "We'll take the main road to Konoha since shinobi don't normally use it, and the last report Orochimaru received of Konoha's movements don't suggest that anyone of importance that would need shinobi protection is coming up this way."

" I guess since Team Kakashi managed to find his last hiding spot, Orochimaru's been paying closer attention to them, huh?"

"You're smarter than you look."

"Oh shut up! Maybe we should find some sort of transportation," I said. He looked at me expectantly. "Well, if we're going to be traveling on the main road, we could at least try to look like ordinary people who would use the road. All I'm suggesting is a horse and cart, or maybe just a horse."

"We'll see, but I don't think they sell any horses around here. We may have to go a bit farther south before we could even start looking."

"If nothing else," I said, "we should at least buy some new clothes. We still look a little too much like Orochimaru's henchmen."

"All right, get some rest until then, we leave soon."

* * *

**Okay, so here's chapter 2...**

**What do you all think? Good or bad?**


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